Parshas Vayeitzei Divrei Torah and Messages 5780

בּ"ה

Parshas Vayeitzei

May this edition of Shabbos Sparks, and the learning that comes from it be as a zechus for

a Refuah Shleimah mi’heira to HaRav Meshulam Dovid HaLevi ben Alta Hendel, who is in need of Tefillos.

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‘And he (Yaakov) encountered the place’ (Bereishis 28:11)

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Our Sages teach us that Yaakov Avinu instituted the Maariv prayer, and this has a deeper implication too, says Rebbe Elimelech Biderman shlit”a: Yaakov established this tefillah at a very difficult moment in his life. He was running away from Esav and going to exile, to outside the Land of Israel. He was about to meet with Lavan, and, knowing his crooked ways, was concerned about what would happen to him (see Rashi zt”l on 28:15). By establishing a tefillah at this time, it teaches us that it is possible to connect with Hashem at all times, even during the most difficult moments of one's life.

Tefillas Maariv is said at nighttime, furthermore, which represents hardships and difficulties. For even then, we can pray, and Hashem will hear our prayers. Hashem isn't only present when we are living in Eretz Yisroel and life is shining and good. Yaakov Avinu showed us that at all times, and under all circumstances, it is possible to speak with Hashem and to connect with Him.1

(Torah Wellsprings)

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1 See also Siach Sarfei Kodesh vol. 3, p. 48.

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‘And he lay down in that place.’ (Bereishis 28:11)

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Explains Rashi zt”l from Midrash Bereishis Rabbah: The phrase ‘in that place’, is a language that means to tell us that he lay down ‘in that place’, but for the 14 years that he served in the Yeshiva of [likely Shem] and Ever, he didn’t lie down at night because he was engaged in Torah study.

Although this is not necessarily a recommended thing to try in our own lives, as one of my Rebbeim shlit”a once said to me, it shows us a great thing: We all have such incredible potential, so much so that we do not even know the extent of it! A person would probably not even think that they are capable of not sleeping for a few years, let alone fourteen. But here we see that Yaakov Avinu did so!

This amazing potential, capability, and willpower is within us all, and we can hardly imagine the heights we can reach and the things we can do and achieve. Indeed think about how the people possibly survived the terrible tortures of the Holocaust. . .

HaKadosh Baruch Hu has endowed us all with such power, and if we put in our own effort, and with His Help of course, we can do amazing, amazing things and reach the highest heights.

(Tal U’Matar)

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‘And he dreamt, and behold! A ladder! And its head reached to Heaven’ (Bereishis 28:12)

If a person is humble, and thus they are lowly in their own eyes -- ‘standing on the earth’; then really ‘its head reached to Heaven’ -- they are on a very high level! And they can even merit through this humility that Hashem will rest His Presence on them, like it says (v. 13) ‘And behold, Hashem stood over it’!

(Orach L’Chaim, as quoted in Maayanah Shel Torah)

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Another thing: The ladder alludes to the fact that a person must climb up and up, just like one does on a ladder. And even though we ‘stand on the earth’, our ‘head reaches the Heaven’ -- meaning that our actions have such great impact, that they even affect the Heavens themselves.

(Nefesh HaChaim as quoted in Shaar Bas Rabim)

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‘And Yaakov awoke from his sleep, and he said; “Indeed, Hashem is in this place. . . !’ (Bereishis 28:16)

The Rama writes at the beginning of Shulchan Aruch that when a person arises in the morning, they should strengthen themselves like a lion to the Service of Hashem.

Rebbe Meir’l of Premishlan zt”l notes that Yaakov Avinu did just this: ‘And Yaakov awoke from his sleep, and he said; “Indeed, Hashem is in this place!’ -- immediately when Yaakov Avinu woke up, he jumped to the Service of Hashem. (See Vi’Karasa L’Shabbos Oneg here, and also Emes Ve’Emunah #368).

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‘And Yaakov took a vow, saying (לאמר): “If G-d will be with me. . .”’ (Bereishis 28:20)

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Our Sages teach us (Bereishis Rabbah) that the word לאמר implies something that is being said for future generations, as well. We learn from this case of the word לאמר, says the Midrash, that people should take vows in times of distress.

Asks HaRav Avraham Schorr shlit”a; doesn’t the Gemara tell us (Nedarim 52a) that, in general, it is better not to take vows? If so, how can we reconcile this with the above Midrash?

Rav Schorr quotes the Avnei Nezer, who explains that the root and principle of a vow is one attempting to pick themselves up above the “natural” way of the world.

And based upon this, Rav Schorr elucidates the matter beautifully: We, too, find ourselves in times of distress. There are, Rachmana Litzlan, terror attacks happening (may Hashem bring them to a halt speedily!); Jews are having certain troubles. In times like these, we must not necessarily take vows, but rather, we must strive to perform the root of a vow: To pick ourselves up, above nature -- to live in an exalted way -- and then we are able attain a salvation. May Hashem provide one.

(HaLekach Vi’HaLibuv)

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‘And he saw, and behold! A well in the field. . . and the great stone was upon the mouth of the well.’ (Bereishis 29:2)

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The Seforim (as far back as the Midrash; see Bereishis Rabbah 70:8) tell us that the “great stone” that was upon the mouth of the well alludes to the Yetzer hara. The Seforim furthermore say that the well itself alludes to the Torah (see Chiddushei HaRim u’Gur Aryeh), or many other holy things that the Midrash (ibid.) adduces. And I would like to add, based in part on something brought in sefer Mi’lo HaOmer (p. 41)2 that perhaps the well also alludes to our heart.

Putting all this together, we see that we all have a heart full of spiritual yearning and potential Torah. But the yetzer hara tries to come and cover it up. . . HaRav Yaakov Neiman zt”l writes: “In the piyut for rain, we say ‘His heart became united and he rolled the stone’. Yaakov Avinu united his heart to do chesed; the good trait of chesed burned in Yaakov, and he had a strong want and great desire to do chesed, and this gave him the strength and might. Because, in something that a person really wants, and has a great desire for it, then the power strengthens in him.” (Darkei Mussar). If we would only have a strong desire to overcome our yetzer hara, and unlock our heart from its grip, and then we translated that want into action, and really tried to overcome it, then Hashem will help us to roll the great stone, the yetzer hara, from upon our hearts, no matter how heavy it may seem.

(Tal U’Matar)

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2 And perhaps also Artscroll Stone Edition Chumash comm. to 26:19-22.

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‘And Yaakov worked for Rachel seven years, and they were in his eyes like a number of days, in his love for her.’ (Bereishis 29:20)

The question is asked; don’t we see from personal experience that when a person wants something, each moment that they wait for it seems longer? So what was different here, that the years seemed shorter to Yaakov Avinu?

The Apter Rebbe, HaRav Avraham Yehoshua Heschel zt”l explains: When one’s love for something is a physical love and desire for personal pleasure, then when waiting to attain it, time seems to go slower. But Yaakov Avinu’s love was a spiritual one, and without any personal lusts. For a love like this, a long time can seem like a short one.

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And so, the famous story continues to play out. Yaakov Avinu works for seven years for Lavan in order to marry his daughter Rachel, and on the night of the wedding, Lavan switches Leah for her, and Yaakov ends up marrying Leah! After finding out about the deception the next morning, Yaakov confronts Lavan, who offers some rationalization for his scheme. They strike a “deal” that after a week’s time, Yaakov will get to marry Rachel -- the one he wished to marry in the first place -- but he will have to work another seven years for Lavan.

But the question is asked; if Chazal tell us that the Avos kept the entire Torah, how can it be that Yaakov Avinu married two, or -- according to the opinions that Bilhah and Zilpah were also sisters -- four, sisters? Baruch Hashem, we have three answers:

1) Some Meforshim explain that, as we know, Yaakov Avinu had the status of a Jew, but Lavan and his family did not. Therefore, his daughters, Rachel and Leah (and also Bilhah and Zilpah) had to convert to marry Yaakov. And the law is that when someone converts, their family is not considered halachically like their family anymore. Thus, when Lavan’s daughters converted before marrying Yaakov, none of them were halachically considered like sisters anymore! (Heard from one of my Rebbeim shlit”a).

2) The Ramban zt”l, however, holds that, since the Torah was not yet given, the Avos only kept the Torah while in Eretz Yisroel. Therefore, while Yaakov was with Lavan, outside the Land, he was permitted to marry two sisters. And for (at least partly) this reason, Rachel passed away on Yaakov’s way back to Eretz Yisroel, because he couldn’t be married to two sisters while in Eretz Yisroel.3

3) Yet other Meforshim explain that before the Torah was given, even for those who kept the Torah (like the Avos), it was somewhat optional in certain things, depending on the individual case. (Heard from HaRav Azriel Cukier shlit”a).

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3 Apparently, Ramban does not hold that Bilhah and Zilpah were sisters.

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‘And he (Yaakov) loved also Rachel more than Leah. . . And Hashem saw that Leah was hated, and He opened her womb. . . ’ (Bereishis 29:30-31)

How is it possible to say that Yaakov Avinu, in a sense, hated Leah?! Surely he would not do such a thing, but yet the Torah tells us that she was “hated.” So what does this mean?

The Radak zt”l posits that Yaakov indeed loved Leah as well. But he just loved Rachel more, and therefore, Leah is called “hated” -- meaning, in comparison with his love for Rachel, it was like she was “hated”. (See also Nachalas Yaakov and Maayan Beis HaShoeivah here).

We see from here an amazing lesson: How sensitive and careful we must be of others’ feelings! Even if we don’t actually dislike a person, or aren’t trying to show any coldness to them -- even if we love them -- if we show others around them more love and warmth than we do towards them, then it could Chas v’Shalom, make them feel almost hated! We must strive to radiate warmth and caring to all of our Jewish brethren.

(Tal U’Matar)

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Similarly, the Torah says (31:2) that Yaakov saw that Lavan’s face had changed towards him, from which HaRav Zelig Pliskin shlit”a derives two wonderful messages: #1, From this we see the importance of being able to notice the emotional state of another person from the expressions on their face. Lavan did not say any unkind words here to Yaakov. Nothing verbal was communicated that would imply that Lavan felt resentment or animosity towards Yaakov. Nevertheless, Yaakov was sensitive to the look on Lavan’s face.

Especially with people you see on a regular basis, take note of how they look when they are pleased with someone. Then take note of how they look when they are displeased with another person. By gaining the sensitivity to detect these differences, you will be able to tell if something you said or did offended them and/or hurt their feelings.

#2, From here we can also see how careful we must be with our own facial expressions. This is especially so when the person you are talking to is very sensitive or easily insulted. You might be thinking of something completely unrelated to the person you are speaking with. But the person might feel that you are upset with them, and could cause them emotional pain. HaRav Chaim Mordechai Katz zt”l used to stress how careful we should be not to cause suffering to another person, even by a grimace. When you master the ability to read facial expressions, you will be able to do more chesed, and will be able to better avoid causing others pain.

I once heard, says Rav Pliskin, from the son of a famous Rosh Yeshiva, that his father was always extremely careful to smile and look happy when he greeted someone. He began making an effort to do this after an incident took place where he was preoccupied when he greeted a certain person.

“Don’t you like me anymore? Have I done something wrong?” the man asked him.

“Of course you haven’t done anything wrong,” said the Rosh Yeshiva. “What gave you the impression that I have anything against you?”

“You had a frown on your face when I greeted you,” the man said.

After reassuring the man that the frown had nothing to do with him, the Rosh Yeshiva resolved from that moment on to always be careful to have a pleased look on his face when talking to others.

(Growth Through Torah)

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‘And she (Leah) conceived again, and she begot a son, and she said “This time, I will thank Hashem!” therefore, she called his name Yehuda’ (Bereishis 29:35)

Chazal teach us (Berachos 7) that Leah Imeinu was the first person to thank Hashem. But what does this mean? Asks my Rebbe, HaRav Daniel Yaakov Travis shlit”a, didn’t the Avos HaKedoshim thank Hashem also?!

Explains Rav Travis beautifully, though, that Leah was the first person who thanked Hashem even for the things that look bad. She was the less loved wife, which definitely would be unpleasant, but it ended up being part and parcel of her having the children first and more of them! Everything that happens is for the best! (See also Tiv Gittin and Maayanah Shel Torah).

Similarly, the Ksav Sofer {HaRav Avraham Shmuel Binyomin Sofer zt”l} says that the novelty in how Leah thanked Hashem was that she thanked Him for even the things that seem to be according to the “natural” order -- like giving birth to a child. (Ksav Sofer al HaTorah; see also Ohr Yekaros to Berachos 7).

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‘And she (Leah) conceived again, and she begot a son, and she said “This time, I will thank Hashem!” therefore, she called his name Yehuda’ (Bereishis 29:35)

Rebbe Yitzchok Meir Alter zt”l, the first Gerrer Rebbe, notes that all Jews are called ‘Yehudim’. Why are we specifically called by the name of this son of Yaakov?

The Rebbe explains that Yehuda was given his name as an expression of thanks and gratitude to Hashem, like the verse says. As Rashi zt”l, in fact, comments (from Bereishis Rabbah) on the name, ‘I took more than my portion’. Therefore, it is very fitting that all Jews should be called by this name, because it is essential for all of us to feel very indebted to Hashem for everything He gives us.

(Michtevei HaChassidim as quoted in

Chiddushei HaRim al HaTorah U’Moadim)

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‘And he (Lavan) said, “What shall I give you?” And Yaakov said, “You shall not give me anything; if you will do for me this thing, I will return, I will shepherd your flock, I will guard [it]. I will pass through all your flock today; remove from there every speckled and spotted kid, and every brown-ish4 lamb in the sheep, and the spotted and speckled in the goats -- and that will be my wage.’ (Bereishis 30:31-32)

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Rashi zt”l explains that Yaakov Avinu meant that his wage would be the spotted, speckled, and brownish ones that would be born from now on. These ones that were being separated out, would be entrusted to Lavan’s sons.

The Torah then tells us how Yaakov took wet poles of certain types of trees, and peeled back some of their outside layer, to make them look almost spotted. He set these up right near where the flocks would come to drink, and it would end up helping them get pregnant, and since they would look at these rods when they would conceive, they would bear offspring that were also spotted, speckled, etc. (Entire paragraph using Rashi’s explanations).

And Rabbeinu Bachya zt”l explains that Yaakov only did this because he was acting in accordance with what the Angel of Hashem told him when he came to him in a dream (see 31:12). Rabbeinu Bachya then goes on to also explain some reasons behind the matter.

A question, though, arises from what Rashi zt”l (to 31:10) brings from Midrash Bereishis Rabbah; that even though Lavan had separated all the spotted, speckled and brown he-goats, so that the flocks in Yaakov’s charge could not bear children who looked like them, Malachim went and brought some of them from the flocks given over into the hands of Lavan’s sons, to the flock in Yaakov’s charge. Why was this done?

Says the Chofetz Chaim zt”l: Someone who cheats their fellow is not only wicked -- as we know how terrible a sin theft is -- but they are also foolish! How so? Because Hashem decrees what amount of money we will get every year, and we will receive no more than that. So if, Chas v’Shalom, a person does something dishonest to get “more money”, that will just end up subtracting from some other money they would have gotten, or perhaps something will be taken from them -- because, as mentioned, we will not get anything more than Hashem has decreed for us.

All this, says Rav Yisroel Meir in his beautiful way, is hinted to us in our holy Torah: For, the question is; how could the Malachim have taken from the pens of flock belonging to Lavan, and given them to Yaakov, in effect, taking some of the bounty that was seemingly meant for Lavan, and giving it to Yaakov? To this the verse concludes, ‘For I have seen all that Lavan has done to you’ -- meaning: That he has changed your wage one-hundred times (see Rashi to v. 7), and took bounty that was for you. Therefore, I -- Hashem, the One Who sends the Angels -- am returning it to you.

(Chofetz Chaim al HaTorah)

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4 See Rashi zt”l here.

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‘For I am not able to rise before you because the way of women is to me.’ (Bereishis 31:35)

Rachel Imeinu had stolen Lavan’s idols, and hid them in her saddlebag (see Rashi zt”l to 31:19, however, who brings that it was to keep Lavan from serving them).

But when Lavan came, she obviously couldn’t get up, because then he would find the idols right under her! So she told him that she was a Niddah at the time. But, as far as we know, she wasn’t, and therefore, seemingly she was lying!

Explains the Vilna Gaon {HaRav Eliyahu Kramer zt”l}; no. Rachel Imeinu was not lying, Chas v’Shalom. Rather, the Mishnah (Shabbos 82a) teaches that Avodah zarah makes impure like Niddah. Thus, he explains beautifully, when Rachel Imeinu sat upon the idols, she came into a state of tumah (impurity) almost like she was Niddah!

(Quoted in Maayanah Shel Torah)

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~ Maasim Tovim ~ My Rebbe, HaRav Elyakim Rosenblatt zt”l, used to tell the following story on many occasions:

During the time that Rav Rosenblatt was studying in Beis Midrash Govoha, he was once walking through the Yeshiva, and he passed by HaRav Aharon Kotler zt”l’s office, which had glass on the outside that you could see through. What he saw with his own eyes a person would hardly believe; Rav Aharon, who was sitting and learning, stood up and began -- for some unknown reason -- to dance!

Rav Aharon soon noticed young Rav Rosenblatt and motioned him inside. He told him to call Rav Chaim Epstein (now zt”l), who was one of the best talmidim (students) in the Yeshiva. Rav Rosenblatt complied, and brought Rav Epstein. He came in, and now, Rav Aharon and him sat down and began to learn for a little while!

When they were finished and Rav Epstein left, Rav Rosenblatt, extremely curious, ran up to him to ask what was going on. Rav Epstein told him something amazing: There was a Beiur HaGra (commentary of the Vilna Gaon zt”l) that Rav Aharon had been struggling over, and couldn’t completely understand, for 25 years. And at that moment -- the moment when Rav Rosenblatt walked by and saw him -- he had finally understood it! So he got up and began to dance. . .

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Gut and meaningful Shabbos to all!

Torah, Mussar, Chassidus, Stories, and More! - בּ"ה

Friday, December 6, 2019